LivingHalal » Life

Being Positive

livinghalal — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 07:06:56 +0000

The following is mentioned by Seth Godin about complaining using a positive language.

“In this economy, I’m lucky to have this job, and it’s almost perfect. It would be even better if…”

or

“I love owning this device, it lets me manage my life and contacts, and the one thing that would make it even better is…”

It’s important to leave out the word “but.”

The fascinating thing about this approach is that not only does it make you happier when you say it, it increases the chance that the person you’re complaining to will actually do something to help you.

Emotional Strength

livinghalal — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 22:50:58 +0000

Dealing with Anger

Channeling Emotions

Dealing with Peer Pressure

Check out Stronger Than Ever: Emotional Strength Program

Angry Not

livinghalal — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 22:41:37 +0000

Recently, LivingHalal coaches have participated in Stronger Than Ever: Emotional Strength Training.

One topic the training covered was dealing with emotions (anger/regret), which the following story presents in a touching way.

USED vs. LOVED

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child’s hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father…..
with painful eyes he asked, ‘Dad when will my fingers grow back?’
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions….. .
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’.

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today’s world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let’s try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I’m glad a sweet person forwarded this to me as a reminder…
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it’s the only day you’ll have before it’s over.

Check out Stronger Than Ever: Emotional Strength Program

How I Saved My Marriage

livinghalal — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:09:55 +0000

This is a real story by a Muslim sister.

This week, I applied the CASIC approach (a formula derived by Surah Al-Fatihah by MasterPIES) to a personal problem I had. First, I made duas for Allah (SWT) to help me out with guiding me and giving me patience. I was very angry and did not want to react in the wrong way and regret later. So, I distanced myself from the problem by avoiding my husband for two days. I tried to think objectively about the heated argument we had and decided that we were both to blame, although his temper was very bad and he said very hurtful things to me. I took it all in and decided to try to smooth things out. In fact, he must have been thinking the same thing because that evening, he asked me if I would like him to prepare me a meal (this happens maybe once in a blue moon). So, I agreed and I offered to make dessert, which he accepted. We were still upset with each other, but not as much as before. The next day, I prepared him his favorite dish for dinner and we talked things out in a friendly manner. Neither of us apologized, but in a way we knew we wanted to end this argument. We talked about different options we had and the problem was solved. The fact that we did not react during the heat of the moment meant that Allah (SWT) saved our marriage. Alhamdullah. I am so grateful that I was able to apply the CASIC module to my personal life and find instant solution. Of course, I think the fact that I prayed and made lots of duas helped me a lot too!

LivingHalal in Action: Praying at Work

livinghalal — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 05:41:33 +0000

Praying at work can be difficult for some. The lack of space, small cubicle, no cubicle but alhamdulilah, Muslims that pray at work have found a way to find-space albeit sometimes in strange places i.e parking lot, stairwell, and other places.

Seems like more and more companies are wiling to accommodate employees that need a space to pray.

Indeed,

And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). (At-Talaq 65:2)

Read on

Need a reminder for Salah time, try this

Kids’ Fiqh

livinghalal — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:58:44 +0000

Ali: The other day I told my daughter to pray. She said that its not fard for her and that “its fard for grownups” (so she played instead). I didn’t say anything, what can i say?

btw, she’s 4

Megan: Asked my son to make du’a for me to go to Jannah every night. He said “I will ask him, I don’ have to say it every day, because Allah remembers, mama..”

Hijab not a threat to Quebec values?

livinghalal — Tue, 20 May 2008 05:10:20 +0000

The hijab not a threat to western values? One wonders about the policies of Turkey and France.

MONTREAL – The Muslim head scarf is no real threat to Quebec values and most women in the province wear it by choice, not out of coercion. That’s what a commission on the integration of immigrants concluded after a year of study costing $5 million.

In the final draft of their report – which was submitted to the provincial government Monday and is expected to be made public at a news conference Thursday – scholars Gerard Bouchard and Charles Taylor say Quebec society will have a lot to lose if it restricts the wearing of the Muslim head scarf strictly to the home and outdoors.

Saying the province’s 130,000 Muslims, especially Arab Muslim immigrants, are “along with blacks, the group that is the most touched by different forms of discrimination” in Quebec, Bouchard and Taylor plead for an end to bickering over the hijab.

“Let’s finish with the head scarf, which has caused so much distress in the last few years,” the commission’s chairmen say in their report, parts of which The Montreal Gazette obtained last week.

“In light of a great number of unequivocal testimonies, we can take it for granted – believe us – that the young girls or women who wear it give it various meanings and are motivated in contrasting ways, some of which, it’s true, don’t jibe with the dominant values of our society.”

In a footnote, the professors explain some of those different meanings: “Sometimes it signifies submission and oppression, pure and simple, sometimes prudishness, respectability and modesty, and sometimes a way of affirming one’s identity or autonomy or even feminism.”

“But by trying to combat these situations, isn’t there a risk that we’ll harm other citizens who made a perfectly clear choice? How is it possible to disentangle the two? And in the end, what happens to the freedom of each and every one to display her deeply held convictions, as long as they don’t impinge on the rights of others and don’t lead to anybody being put out?”

Devout Muslim women – a small minority of Quebec Muslims overall – suffer intimidation and discrimination in the Quebec job market for wearing the hijab “because employers fear getting demands for accommodations,” the commissioners say, recounting testimony from several Muslims in public hearings last fall.

They cite the case of a young hijab-wearing woman studying to be a pharmacist who “saw her job applications rejected by 50 pharmacies before she was finally able to land a job with an Arab pharmacist.”

The commissioners also write that the hijab is a lightning rod for a wide range of opponents in Quebec, all of whom see it in a negative light.

“Diverse voices are raised to denounce the Muslim head scarf: those of radical feminism, those of republican egalitarianism and – we heard various ways of it being expressed – also those of intolerance.”

That condemnation shouldn’t happen, they say.

“The freedom to manifest one’s religion or one’s conviction is recognized by all the great international legal conventions and by the Quebec charter (of human rights and freedoms),” they say in a footnote.

In another footnote, Bouchard and Taylor talk of some Quebecers’ “often irrational” opposition to the hijab, which they see as a denial of a woman’s femininity, a symbol of her submission to men and to God, or simply a restrictive piece of clothing that would be better left in a drawer.

They quote from a brief submitted to them in November by a woman during their 17-city tour of the province: “In 2007, in Quebec, when a Muslim women wears the veil, I tremble,” the woman wrote.

The hijab should be greeted in day-to-day life as a possibility to connect with someone with a different way of life, according to Bouchard and Taylor.

They also say it’s wrong to think that all veiled Muslim women are somehow under a man’s thumb.

“There’s a strong feminist current among Muslim women. It follows an original path and is a model that differs from Quebec feminism. It goes along with the wearing of the head scarf.”

Lest anyone think the veil is a sign of Muslim extremism – even a subtle form of terrorism – the commissioners try to set the record straight.

“A word on fundamentalism and the threat of terrorism,” they write. “There is, indeed, among Muslims in Montreal, a small minority of rigorists who are solidly rejected by their religious brethren. It’s true that in this type of milieu the germs of terrorism can appear. The threat is therefore not non-existent. What is the right attitude to take?

“Our position is this: Let’s let the police do what they can to disrupt the terrorist threat wherever it is – and it does exist. For the rest, as citizens, we have the duty to treat people equitably and without reproach.”

jheinrich@thegazette.canwest.com

http://www.canada.com/topics/news/story.html?id=594561b1-7d0f-4172-a7a2-6e6d49cbcb3b

When are you going to get married?

livinghalal — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:33:22 +0000

A: When are you going to get married?

B: After Eid?

A: Which Eid?

B: The Eid which comes after Ramadan?

A: Both Eids come after Ramadan

B: Exactly

A: What do you mean?

B: You tell me, just pick one

A: I’m the one who asked first

B: Then answer first too

A: No, seriously, when are you getting married?

B: When I find the girl?

A: And when is that?

B: Right before I get married.

A: And when is your wedding?

B: You’ll know it when it’s over

A: That’s why I’m asking now

B: I already told you, after Ramadan

A: Look, if you don’t start looking now, you’ll never get married

B: Exactly, so I’m waiting for you to finish, so I can start looking

A: You need to start with an end in mind (Steven Covey)

B: Yeah, my start is when you end

…

[continue the conversation ]

How to earn halal income?

livinghalal — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 03:04:07 +0000

No wonder my blood pressure is high :)

livinghalal — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:09:22 +0000

Happy Marriage, Happy Heart

Thursday, March 20, 2008; 12:00 AM

THURSDAY, March 20 (HealthDay News) — Happily married people have lower blood pressure than unhappy married people or singles, a Brigham Young University study says.

On the other hand, even having a supportive social network did not translate into a blood pressure benefit for singles or unhappy married people, according to the study.

“There seem to be some unique health benefits from marriage. It’s not just being married that benefits health — what’s really the most protective of health is having a happy marriage,” study author Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist who specializes in relationships and health, said in a prepared statement.

The study included 204 married and 99 single adults who wore portable blood-pressure monitors for 24 hours. The monitors recorded blood pressure at random intervals and provided a total of about 72 readings.

“We wanted to capture participants’ blood pressure doing whatever they normally do in everyday life. Getting one or two readings in a clinic is not really representative of the fluctuations that occur throughout the day,” Holt-Lunstad said.

Overall, happily married people scored four points lower on the blood pressure readings than single adults. The study also found that blood pressure among married people — especially those in happy marriages — dipped more during sleep than in single people.

“Research has shown that people whose blood pressure remains high throughout the night are at much greater risk of cardiovascular problems than people whose blood pressure dips,” Holt-Lunstad said.

The study was published in the March 20 issue of the journalAnnals of Behavioral Medicine.

The study also found that unhappily married adults have higher blood pressure than both happily married and single adults.

Holt-Lunstad noted that spouses can encourage healthy habits in one another, such as eating a healthy diet and having regular doctor visits. People in happy marriages also have a source of emotional support, she said.

More information

The U.S. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute offers advice on how to reduce high blood pressure.

SOURCE: Brigham Young University, news release, March 20, 2008