This is a real story by a Muslim sister.

This week, I applied the CASIC approach (a formula derived by Surah Al-Fatihah by MasterPIES) to a personal problem I had. First, I made duas for Allah (SWT) to help me out with guiding me and giving me patience. I was very angry and did not want to react in the wrong way and regret later. So, I distanced myself from the problem by avoiding my husband for two days. I tried to think objectively about the heated argument we had and decided that we were both to blame, although his temper was very bad and he said very hurtful things to me. I took it all in and decided to try to smooth things out. In fact, he must have been thinking the same thing because that evening, he asked me if I would like him to prepare me a meal (this happens maybe once in a blue moon). So, I agreed and I offered to make dessert, which he accepted. We were still upset with each other, but not as much as before. The next day, I prepared him his favorite dish for dinner and we talked things out in a friendly manner. Neither of us apologized, but in a way we knew we wanted to end this argument. We talked about different options we had and the problem was solved. The fact that we did not react during the heat of the moment meant that Allah (SWT) saved our marriage. Alhamdullah. I am so grateful that I was able to apply the CASIC module to my personal life and find instant solution. Of course, I think the fact that I prayed and made lots of duas helped me a lot too!

A: When are you going to get married?

B: After Eid?

A: Which Eid?

B: The Eid which comes after Ramadan?

A: Both Eids come after Ramadan

B: Exactly

A: What do you mean?

B: You tell me, just pick one

A: I’m the one who asked first

B: Then answer first too

A: No, seriously, when are you getting married?

B: When I find the girl?

A: And when is that?

B: Right before I get married.

A: And when is your wedding?

B: You’ll know it when it’s over

A: That’s why I’m asking now

B: I already told you, after Ramadan

A: Look, if you don’t start looking now, you’ll never get married

B: Exactly, so I’m waiting for you to finish, so I can start looking

A: You need to start with an end in mind (Steven Covey)

B: Yeah, my start is when you end

…

[continue the conversation ]

Happy Marriage, Happy Heart

Thursday, March 20, 2008; 12:00 AM

THURSDAY, March 20 (HealthDay News) — Happily married people have lower blood pressure than unhappy married people or singles, a Brigham Young University study says.

On the other hand, even having a supportive social network did not translate into a blood pressure benefit for singles or unhappy married people, according to the study.

“There seem to be some unique health benefits from marriage. It’s not just being married that benefits health — what’s really the most protective of health is having a happy marriage,” study author Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist who specializes in relationships and health, said in a prepared statement.

The study included 204 married and 99 single adults who wore portable blood-pressure monitors for 24 hours. The monitors recorded blood pressure at random intervals and provided a total of about 72 readings.

“We wanted to capture participants’ blood pressure doing whatever they normally do in everyday life. Getting one or two readings in a clinic is not really representative of the fluctuations that occur throughout the day,” Holt-Lunstad said.

Overall, happily married people scored four points lower on the blood pressure readings than single adults. The study also found that blood pressure among married people — especially those in happy marriages — dipped more during sleep than in single people.

“Research has shown that people whose blood pressure remains high throughout the night are at much greater risk of cardiovascular problems than people whose blood pressure dips,” Holt-Lunstad said.

The study was published in the March 20 issue of the journalAnnals of Behavioral Medicine.

The study also found that unhappily married adults have higher blood pressure than both happily married and single adults.

Holt-Lunstad noted that spouses can encourage healthy habits in one another, such as eating a healthy diet and having regular doctor visits. People in happy marriages also have a source of emotional support, she said.

More information

The U.S. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute offers advice on how to reduce high blood pressure.

SOURCE: Brigham Young University, news release, March 20, 2008

Read this story, very nice about a sister living in the US and struggling to find a husband in an halal way.

A Muslim dating story

A conversation with an 8-month married brother.

Tags: Interview, marriage, muslim, islam, halal, half deen, complete deen, values, advice, responsibility, spouse, husband, wife, in-law, relationship

Assalam alaikum,

Hey… What is this Chinka [Asian in Indian subcontinent lingo] doing up here? For God sake, it’s marriage between a Gujju and a Hydro [The groom is from Gujarat and the bride is from Hyderabad].

Well calm down. You will know in a moment.

In the meantime, just treat me as your daisi bhai [Your fellow countryman].

Inna alhamda lillah… [Khutbah Al-Hajjah, the speech opening by the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Prayers Be Upon Him)]

I’ve been practicing for tonight for quite some time.
Not my speech, but practicing how to eat Indian spicy food!
Because tonight India rules, not just in food, but Naheed [The groom] proved tonight that India is the economics superpower. India is pushing the US economy by giving business to Knott’s berry farm [The event venue]. And India is providing job to China.

And you know who are the happiest for achieving this global status, not Indians, but the Bangladeshis. Yeah the Bangladeshis. Because finally, they get to tell their Paki fellows, “Pai-kka, tough luck.” [You’ve lost to India again].

So, why I’m saying all these non sense… Because Naheed rejected all these racial slurs by exemplifying the Islamic brotherhood in his life. While at USC, he broght all subcontinent under one roof, not only that, but he invited an outsider like me to be part of this ummah.

He showed all of us that it doesn’t matter what our skin color, language, or tolerance for spicy food is…. but what really matters is the Taqwa, the righteousness.

And for that, I ask Allah to reward him tremendously. Ameen.

Ok, let’s get back to marriage.

So, why suddenly Naheed decided to get married? I mean nothing much changed that can trigger this decision. Except that Nokia is moving him to the bay area. I think that triggered him to… finally… to come out. Yes, to come out from the closet and admit to the world how much he loves Hyderabadis.

His first roommate at USC was Hyderabadi. I think his cellmate is Hyderabadi too… Oh, cellmate means cell phone mate. And now he figured out that he cannot live without a Hyderabadi in his life.

Yaar, the paki bro in the back. Are you with me or still debating whether India rules or not?
Listen, you and i may disagree on that. But we all agree tonight that —sister Juwaria [The bride] — rules from now on. As for our brother naheed. From all of us, “Miya [Mr.], the game is over.”

Thank you.

Special thanks to subcontinent consultants: Muhammad Aman, Sajidurahman, and Muhammad Ansar.

And if I offended anyone that’s not my intention. I sincerely apologize. May allah forgive me.

Wassalam Alaikum

YouTube Link

From time to time we post some real world jokes… Our jokes, in-sha-Allah, will be halal (no lies or mockings because the prophet (SAW) forbade them even while joking).

Here is one about marriage search.

A: How is your Internet marriage search going?

B: Don’t really know if these freaking sites really work or not.

A: Maybe you should widen your search criteria.

B: Mann I have already done it. Imagine now I am looking into all the desi* community and not only BD community… that itself makes me open to more than 1+ billion population…do u want more wider

——

Translation:
* Desi or Deshi refers to Indian subcontinent people.
* BD = A subcontinent country